Whatever you say,

does it really matter?

Cigarette break

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The pit in my stomach. 
It’s getting bigger.  It feels like it’s growing, taking over my whole body.  
Burning.
Gnawing.
Food…everytime I eat, the pit feels like it gets bigger and bigger.
Food..won’t settle in my stomach.
Can’t eat!
Can’t think of food!
Nausea consumes me.

And my chest…feels like the pressure is going to kill me.  
I can’t breathe.
I feel like gasping for air.
Calm down…RELAX…I tell myself.  
NOTHING WORKS!

My head feels like it’s going to explode.  
Thoguhts! Thoughts race a mile a minute.
Thoughts of confusion, trust, love, wants, needs, lust of him, of her, of what’s really going on, what is he holding back, keeping to himself, not sharing with me.

Someone he claims to love and call his girlfriend.
Girlfriend…Am I?  I don’t feel like it sometimes.

Thoughts of not being with him makes the pit in my stomach overwhelm me.  It is now taking control of me- of my body- of my mind- of my soul!

Gnawing!
Burning!
Nausea!
Thoughts!

I need a cigarette!

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Author: Michelle

Just a woman finally finding herself!

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