Last night, I saw E and told him I could never see him again. Lots of tears were shed. Lots of words were exchanged. For the life of me, I can’t remember all that was said. I just remember the pain being all too real. I feel it in my chest. I can’t breathe. I can’t do this anymore! It hurts too much. It hurts knowing he has been seeing other girls and me at the same time. Everything he has done to me has hurt me and continues to hurt. I can’t get these thoughts and visions out of my head. I am losing myself in the pain and hurt. I don’t even want to be in my own skin anymore. I don’t know who I am anymore.
So I said what I had to say, cried all I was going to cry! I think some part of me got through to him because I walked out and left. To my surprise, I couldn’t get my car out of his parking space so I was forced to go back up to his apartment. When I walked past the dining room window, he was leaning up against the wall where I left him. He was definitely affected by what just happened.
I ended up staying the night and in the morning while he was in the shower, I got up and left.
Today I start living my life without E! God help me!