Whatever you say,

does it really matter?

Happy Mother’s Day or not!

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I drove down to Riverside on Thursday to spend the weekend with my family for Mother’s Day and to tell them the news about having thyroid cancer.  I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s weekend so I decided to tell them the night before I left which was last night.  I told my sister on Friday morning over a cup of coffee.  And she made light of the situation since she has been through it before.  We discussed when to tell mom and we both agreed to wait until Saturday night.

Saturday night came way too fast.  After celebrating mother’s day a day early since I was leaving in the morning, we were all sitting in the family room.  It was me, my three sisters, my dad, mom, my dad’s girlfriend and my brother in law.  Here is what I said…

“So now that we are all here, I have something to tell you.  It’s no big deal but I wanted you to know that I have been diagnosed with thyroid cancer and will be going into surgery soon.”  I tried to make light of the situation so my mother wouldn’t flip out but it didn’t work.

Her response: “What?  What did you say?  Did you get a biopsy done?  How do you know?” 

I would never forget the look on my mother’s face.  It was disheartening, heartbreaking, a look of fright yet frustrated.  I explained everything to her and she threw her hands in the air and walked out of the room to cry alone in the living room.  I sent my sister N to go talk to mom while I talked to everyone else.  My dad still looked confused so I re-explained everything to him.  And he was hopeful and said, “Don’t worry.  Everything will be fine.”  “I know,” I said.  But right when I said that, I didn’t believe it anymore.  My voice began to crack and I felt a lump in my throat.  Then I looked at my dad and he began to tear.  That was when I couldn’t hold it back anymore and began to tear myself.  

I got up to go talk to my mother but she didn’t want to hear anymore from me and went to her room.   Now I am home waiting to find out when I am going into surgery.

Author: Michelle

Just a woman finally finding herself!

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