Whatever you say,

does it really matter?

Numb

3 Comments

Have you ever felt numb on the inside?  Incapable of feeling emotion?  Insensitive?  Like you were lacking any sort of sensation?  It feels like you have overdosed on Vicodin or Percocet and you become anesthetized.  You are apathetic to others.  You are callous.  It feels like some one hit you in the back of head with a baseball bat and you are comatose, dazed, even dead.  You begin to feel detached from your own being as well as others.  Everything around you disinterests you.  Not even the red sun that illuminates the sky today phases you.  It’s as if you are immobilized, paralyzed, frozen….like an iceberg, like you are stuck against the pavement.  This feeling of numbness consumes you until you feel foggy, hazy, almost like you drank a little too much.  This consumptions causes you to become incurious, indifferent, insensate, insensible, senseless, stupefied.  You become so incapable of feeling anything but this numbness, this tingling, this intoxicated state.  Even if someone were to touch you, you wouldn’t feel a thing. 

It’s to the point where you break away from this feeling, this entity that is all consuming you like it’s the devil.  You chose to become someone else completely.  You transform into this being, this essence, this entirely new existence so you can feel lively, spirited, sensitive, interested, invigorated, thawed… But the difference is…you are still emotionless.  But it’s a conscious choice you have made.  For if there are no emotions, then there are no feelings, and if there are no feelings, then the option to feel pain or hurt is removed from this equation.

Then what do you get?  The gift of ease, relief and solace!

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Author: Michelle

Just a woman finally finding herself!

3 thoughts on “Numb

  1. ????
    numb is ease?

  2. Numb…I think that means u need a drink with the girls!
    ~K
    PS. I loved the red sun yesterday!!

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