I got home around midnight. I turned on the TV and got into bed. I watched one episode and another and another. I finally decided to turn off the TV at 2:30AM. It’s now 4AM and I am still awake. I can’t get to sleep. I keep tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. My right side. My left side. On my stomach. A cold pillow. No pillow. Nothing is helping.
My room is dark but I can make out the shadows on my bedroom wall. The neighbors keep a light on in their backyard which casts a faint beam of light on my wall. I have been staring at the beam for about the past 20 minutes. Watching it change shape. It’s raining and the wind is blowing. I can hear the raindrops on my windowsill and the rustling of the trees around the house. The sound is mesmerizing. I try to concentrate on the repetitious sound while staring at the beam. It’s hypnotizing effects. Not so effective. It’s just not good enough to quiet the thoughts in my head.
I begin to cry out of frustration. About the thoughts in my head. The lack of sleep. The lack of energy.
My thoughts won’t let me sleep. I just want my head to be quiet just long enough to let me fall asleep.
My eyes are getting heavier and heavier. Maybe now I can get some rest.