Whatever you say,

does it really matter?

Another case of insomnia

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I got home around midnight.  I turned on the TV and got into bed.  I watched one episode and another and another.  I finally decided to turn off the TV at 2:30AM.  It’s now 4AM and I am still awake.  I can’t get to sleep.  I keep tossing and turning trying to get comfortable.  My right side.  My left side.  On my stomach.  A cold pillow.  No pillow.  Nothing is helping. 

My room is dark but I can make out the shadows on my bedroom wall.  The neighbors keep a light on in their backyard which casts a faint beam of light on my wall.  I have been staring at the beam for about the past 20 minutes.  Watching it change shape.  It’s raining and the wind is blowing.  I can hear the raindrops on my windowsill and the rustling of the trees around the house.  The sound is mesmerizing.  I try to concentrate on the repetitious sound while staring at the beam.  It’s hypnotizing effects.  Not so effective.  It’s just not good enough to quiet the thoughts in my head. 

I begin to cry out of frustration.  About the thoughts in my head.  The lack of sleep.  The lack of energy.

My thoughts won’t let me sleep.  I just want my head to be quiet just long enough to let me fall asleep.

My eyes are getting heavier and heavier.  Maybe now I can get some rest.


Author: Michelle

Just a woman finally finding herself!

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