As far as my emotional life is concerned, I feel as if I need to finally fit together all the bits of the jigsaw that will add up to lasting relationships. And not just romantic relationships, but relationships with my girl friends, guy friends and especially relationships with my family members. I have been experiencing a difficult time accomplishing this. Don’t get me wrong…I have a very loving, supportive family and I have a fabulous circle of friends whom I cherish. They have always been there for me over the years and will continue to do so. The time I spend with them is richly rewarding and shows me that my friendships can be relied on.
But then I start to think, have I really been a good friend over the years? Have I done as much for them as they have for me? Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t. I think that is what bothers me. Shouldn’t I just know?
They say, you are defined by the friends you have. I am proud to have Vicky, Kimberly, Yadira and Evelin as my closest girl friends. I am also happy to have Jesse and Savage there for me as my guy friends. Everyone else falls under acquaintances that I can live without. But then I wonder if these friends are proud to have me as their friend. Do I represent to them the kind of friend they want to be defined by?
This all comes into perspective once you look towards these friendships in times of need, despair, sadness. Taking some needed overdue time to find myself is what I need to do. It’s what I want to do. And by defining myself by the company I keep is a start.