Whatever you say,

does it really matter?

Ambien anyone?

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Had a rough night last night.  Got into bed later than usual because I just couldn’t manage to get to sleep. Then it hit me.  I opened the flood gates and started crying, uncontrollably.  I am tired of pretending I am strong…that I am ok when all I feel is pain and hurt.  So I cried myself to sleep, which didn’t last long.  I awoke within a half hour and started all over again.  Yes, I cried again.  My head won’t let me sleep.  I have all these emotions and thoughts inside of me that I don’t know how to handle.  I need to acknowledge them instead of repressing them…instead of distracting myself from them.  So last night, I acknowledged them for the first time in awhile and all I could do was cry. 

But that is not where it ended.   I have been sick…some chest thing.  After crying myself to sleep, I slept for about an hour and awoke to the rumbling feeling in my chest.  Then a cough attack.  Apparently, I did not swig on enough cough syrup with codeine.  I won’t be making that mistake tonight.  Among the coughing fit, I got extremely hot.  So I got up and turned the heater off.  By this time, I managed to look at the clock and see that it was 4:30AM and I have not really slept.  It almost made me want to cry again cause I was so exhausted.

BEEP BEEP BEEP!  My alarm clock went at 6:00AM.

sniff sniff


Author: Michelle

Just a woman finally finding herself!

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