Whatever you say,

does it really matter?

A long overdue letter

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Dear S-

I have been thinking about writing this for some time and decided to do it now.  I know the past is in the past and presently you are happily married and I know your future is full of possibilities.  But lately, there has been a lot on my mind and I felt the need to reveal this to you.

You are truly an amazing man.  The one who married you is a very lucky woman.  I admire her for so many reasons.  She ended up marrying my soul mate, the man of my dreams….the one that I let get away.  You taught me so much many years ago for all those years we dated.  It seems like an eternity since we were a couple but the love I hold deep in my heart for you shines on.

I learned a lot from you.  I learned I deserve the kind of love you showed me every day we were together.  You showed me a life I could only dream of.   You loved me unconditionally until I pushed you too far and eventually pushed you away into a life…a future with another woman.  And ever since then, I have been looking for that kind of love.  The funny thing is, I now give the kind of love you gave me to every man I have been in a relationship with.  I am the one giving 110% and not getting much in return.  It’s horrible feeling and it breaks my heart.  Now, I know how you felt all those years ago.  I was just too young and dumb to realize what a real relationship was suppose to be like.  At that time, you did deserve better than me.  I couldn’t give you what you needed nor wanted.  And for that I am truly sorry.  I am sorry for breaking your heart.  I am sorry I let you go.  I am sorry for being who I was back then.

You have impacted my life and my heart in a way I don’t think you realize.  You will always have a special place in my heart that  no man can ever replace.  I will always love you and regret the decisions and choices I have made.  I hope you can forgive me for making these mistakes and know I never meant to hurt you.  Maybe one of these days, I will eventually forgive myself.

It took time, a lot of failed relationships, growing up and soul searching to make me realize you were the one that got away.  My heart will always be with you.

Love always,
Your Bubby

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Author: Michelle

Just a woman finally finding herself!

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