Everything inside of me is screaming! Screaming from pain, hurt, confusion, exhaustion, heartache! I don’t know what to do with all these feelings. I feel like I am going to shatter like a glass vase hitting the floor…into a million little pieces that can’t be put back together by glue. I feel helpless, hopeless, worthless…in your eyes. I want all these feelings to be gone! Gone! Gone!
I need a change! A big change! A move maybe? Somewhere where no one knows me. Somewhere where I can start over since I surely have failed at this life here in San Francisco. At least I feel I have! Nothing I do for you or you has ever been good enough. I don’t know what I keep doing wrong when all I want to do is right. It shouldn’t be this hard. I shouldn’t have to be working so hard. Not at this at least.
All I want is happiness. Is that too fuckin much to ask for. Where do I find it? At the end of bottle of Vodka? How do I find it? That my friend remains a mystery.