It appears all the blogs I follow or most of the blogs I follow are of married women. Women in relationships. Women with children. Women who appear content with their lives. Women with beautiful homes and wardrobes. Women with loving and supportive families. And great friends.
Then there’s me.
Single! Again! At 37. With no home of my own. No fancy wardrobe. A family that is dysfunctional but loving. No children. Did I mention I am single? The only thing going for me right now: Great friends, a great paying job (which I am NOT liking at the present moment) and good health. So I shouldn’t complain. Right? RIGHT?
I understand God has a plan for me and He will lead me on the right path to this great plan of His. But time is a wastin. I have no patience. I have been waiting for 37 years for the “American Dream.” I feel like it’s more the “American Nightmare.” Someone pinch me and wake me up! PLEASE!
I want a home to call my own (taking baby steps towards that as I have started looking at houses to buy, which I am quickly realizing I cannot afford). I want children, maybe two. I have been reading the Fifty Shades Trilogy. I want a Christian. I just watched the ending of 16 Candles for the billionth time. I want a Jake. I want the compassion of PS I Love You. I want a Gerry. I want the irresistible I-can’t-live-without-you love and romance of The Notebook. I want a Noah. I want the sex appeal of Adam Levine. I want the sense of humor of Steve Carrel. I want the brains of Steven Spielberg. I want the roughness and protection of Liam Nesson. I want the strength of Rocky Balboa. I want the body of Christian Bale in American Psycho (maybe it’s just the name Christian). He is out there. Isn’t he? The man of my dreams and the house with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids? I just have to be patient. That’s all I have to do. I have to be patient, continue to live a fruitful life and it’ll happen. Someday. Someday. Soon? Tick tock. Tick tock. Patience. Patience and faith. Faith is easy. But. It’s. So. Hard. To. Be. Patient.
Ashley, a fellow blogger, couldn’t have said it better…
And that’s why I think patience and miracles go hand in hand. If we didn’t have to wait, and if we didn’t feel like we were at the end of our rope, our desired outcomes wouldn’t taste as sweet. We’d lose a lot of gratitude and a lot of humility and would think we could make everything happen on our own. I think that’s where the miracle lies. Maybe the miracle isn’t so much the big event that we’re praying for. Maybe the purpose of a miracle is to help us build more faith along the way. To change us in a way that we couldn’t be changed any other way. I think the miracles are the times when we find hope when we feel overwhelmed, and confused, and frustrated. Miracles happen every day, but sometimes we aren’t patient enough to find them.