This week has been a tough one. But nothing that breathing and praying couldn’t get me through. I will even admit, I cried a few tears. Some were tears of happiness and some of sadness. Death is never an easy thing for anyone to deal with. Some people will never accept it. There never seems to be the right time to mourn or the right words to say. It’s the only time when placing your hand on someone’s shoulder and being present in silence is all you can do or is all that is needed. Some times the smallest gestures make the biggest impact. It makes or forces families to come together, families that otherwise would not see each other or talk to each other.
Death has a way of bringing people together. People you haven’t seen in years or haven’t met yet. People you don’t even recognize. People you only know by name not by face. Death, to some, is an ending of a life. Yet, it has a way of providing closure. It’s a time for renewed relationships and forgiveness. It’s a time for love. It’s a family reunion you didn’t want under these circumstances and makes you say, “We should all get together during a happier time.” The thought of seeing relatives without tears in their eyes, without a frown on their faces, without a tissue in their hands, without regrets, without sorrows, sounds like a beautiful idea. It was mentioned today that come spring, we will (or should) get everyone together for a picnic in Golden Gate Park. But will it ever happen? I know people mean well with reunions but then life happens and these much-needed reunions never happen. I think I will make it my sole purpose (after the holidays) to coordinate a family reunion. We need to be family all the time and not only during a wedding or a funeral. All the time.
There may never be the right words to say, but today these were the words I found and read today in her memory, at her celebration of life:
I know you are gone for good
It’s hard to accept but now I’ve understood
Nothing lasts forever, even if it’s good or bad.
Now you’re up in heaven, it makes me feel glad
That finally your pain and sadness has ended
Just the way God has intended.
At this time, you are standing at those big golden gates
Up in heaven, your new life awaits.
I know you are looking down on us wanting us to be strong,
And I know you have been all along.
Your beautiful eyes so big and round
Showed love, showed laughter, showed happiness, showed sadness
But I will remember you as the happy beautiful woman you were.
The one who cried for love, the one who once laughed.
I will miss you that’s definitely true
But we will meet again
In the kingdom of heaven
Where no pain we will feel.
For now you’ve gone up high in the sky
Because this is your time to say goodbye.
I love you Aunty.